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Sympathy for the Spammer

09/09/2021
Tongue planted firmly in cheek, here is my version of the Rolling Stones song "Sympathy for the Devil", with apologies to Mick Jagger ....


Sympathy for the Spammer


Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's identity by theft


And I was around when William Gates

Said he'd stop all spam by o-six
Made damn sure that SPF
Would not be open so not so great


(refrain)

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game


I stuck around the post office
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed direct mail and telesales
Telemarketers screamed in vain


I rode to the bank
On my ill got gains
Selling mortgages
porn, watches and drugs


(refrain)


I watched with glee
While politicians penned
"Can-Spam" and shook hands
For good deeds they made

I shouted out,
Who killed Sender ID?
When after all
It was you and me

(and our bot nets)


Let me please introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I laid viruses on your PC
To do my bidding in absentia


(refrain)

(refrain)


Just as every PC is a sender
And each recipient's a fool
As heads is tails
Just call me Spam-I-Am
cause a million spam 'bots is real cool

So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, and some taste
Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your website to waste, um yeah


(refrain)


Woo, who
Oh yeah, get on down
Oh yeah
Oh yeah!
Tell me baby, what's my name
Tell me honey, can ya guess my name
Tell me baby, what's my name
I tell you one time, you're to blame
Ooo, who
Ooo, who



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